Feedback is not just for Hi-Fi Systems

Wanna tell me what you think? Email me at zentner@gmail.com and I may just devote an entire entry to your comment.

Why Tuesday?

The Girlfriend's Guide to Health will be updated every Tuesday.... Stay tuned dear readers and let me rock your world.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

I'm Back Bitches.....


It’s been an interesting few months, my sisters. Full disclosure? I’ve been blocked. No, my colon is working fine and although I do notice that as I get older I am indeed fixated on my bowel function.

When I say blocked, I mean my writing.  Make no mistake, I don’t consider myself a “writer” by trade. Sure, when I was a kid, it was indeed my dream to be a writer.  I pictured myself holed up in some fabulous café with a moleskin and a fountain pen scribbling for  good and glory as the words fell on the page. In my head I was in a fabulous pantsuit and in my heart I was living the dream.

Did it matter if I was good at it? Shit no. Writing was my escape. As a kid I has Hillroy notebooks on my desk with antique fountain pens bought second hand. My fingers were stained blue and black from the leaky pens but I used them anyway. I wrote poetry and short stories, songs and love letters. I poured my heart on pages and left it there to bleed and to heal and to make me whole again.

Dramatic? Sure thing. I was a teenager in the 1980’s enduring one Winnipeg winter after another. I was North End girl with Downtown dreams and a closet full of Club Monaco sweatshirts and Levi’s 501’s. Drama and dreams were all I had.

But dreams have their way of working out because indeed when I shared my pantsuit/moleskin fantasy with my family, I was quickly informed by my father that writing would make a fine hobby once I became a doctor.

“Don’t worry, Alphonse”, he informed me, “you can wear whatever pantsuit you want once you get your medical degree.”

Yes, the writing would be my hobby all these years as I pursued medicine as a career. Here it is decades later…. my father is long gone (I miss him so), I am indeed a doctor who indeed writes for a hobby. As for the pantsuits? I am really more a dress and heels kind of girl.

Make no mistake, I am at a point in my life where I really do LOVE my job. This was not always the case. There indeed was a time when I thought this life in medicine was thrust upon me without a choice and I was doomed to  “make it work”. I saw my work as a job and my job as an obligation. I always liked the work and the people but I just could not make a love connection.

And then as if by magic about 5 or so years ago, I fell in love; truly, madly deeply. I can not recall the place or time, the rhyme or reason…. But something clicked and me and medicine really did make it work.

And then it occurred to me. I started writing 5 years ago. Could it be that my passion for my work sparked and grew when I reconnected with the creative side I had left behind? I really can’t say for certain I just know that when words flow to a white space in front of me, my happiness indeed increases. Perhaps, excuse the drama, writing makes my world make sense.

So imagine my dismay when for the last few weeks, the words have been stuck like nobody’s business. Yes, I had writers block and no pantsuit in the world would mend this fence.

Writers block is an “umbrella term” first described in 1947 by psycholanalyst Edmond Bergler. It is a term used for the condition when writers (professional or otherwise) can’t make it happen. Think of it like Literary impotence and you are pretty much half way there.

Sure enough here are a variety of theories for why the block happens. One such theory is that when the brain gets stressed the limbic system (basal brain functions) take over from the cortex (the thinking system). How can you pen the great American novel when your brain is purely in survival mode trying to not be eaten by the world. We sacrifice creativity for survival in these instances and as such get blocked.

Another thought is that depression, fear, or even audience awareness paralyze the writer from thought and action.

I’m not sure what happened to me. All lives have stress and I am a pretty happy person. Maybe I just got lazy for a few weeks and my cerebral cortex needed a nap.  
You see for the last few weeks the words that once flowed like water have indeed been sticky and slow.

Could it be my writing hobby had run its course? Was it now time to take up quilting? I have no idea why I bring up quilting. I don’t know how to quilt- it just seemed like a classic hobby.

But damn it, “I am a sometimes writer”, I told myself and like anything in life worth having I will endure.

There I sat in front of a blank screen willing the words to come.

I prayed to the goddess and sold my soul and promised to call my mother more often….

And within moments my fingers hit the keyboard and in a flash I was back in that proverbial pantsuit with imaginary moleskin in hand.

Block be gone.

I’m back bitches.

15 comments:

  1. It is nice to have you back Ali. I missed you. It is hard for me to imagine you verbally blocked!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Forgive me if I sound a bit rough on your words. Here's my comment: In too many words, there is much error. You are not the exception, but a confirmation of the rule. I do not believe you are a Doctor. You show too many indicatives of a lack of subject focused dissertation; sorry. Your calling 'bitches' to women shows a disregard for the respect due to all of them, including your Mom. Do not feel offended, you can change, if you want.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Regarding all aspects the blog was perfectly nice.
    Herbal Ultra Life

    ReplyDelete
  4. This the Vapehouse Dubai Providing business consultant service in UAE (United Arab Emirates) on Top Vapstore. Vapehousedubai is the largest vap store in Dubai offer origianl vap, vap device kits and more at reasonable price with fastest delivery. So you are Welcome to vapehousedubai.com, UAE’s largest online vape store. Being a premium supplier of vape products allows us to deliver products to you at the lowest price. for more details here : Vape shop in dubai

    ReplyDelete
  5. Such a very useful article. Very interesting to read this article.I would like to thank you for the efforts you had made for writing this awesome article. bible verses about health

    ReplyDelete
  6. This continuum is a simple way of depicting the basic fact that earned health evolves largely due to our own efforts to improve and protect our well being; static health, on the other side is affected by what happens to you. hasta yatağı

    ReplyDelete
  7. Online programs provide a proof that he or she has completed a training program after successful pass of exam. cna online classes ca

    ReplyDelete
  8. It’s a huge melting pot of pussy without even considering the local woman born and raised in Kolkata. Most girls in Kolkata are here to work and are actively looking for men for fun or serious relationship… Then there are girls with a day job, but at night they sell their body to earn some extra cash… Then there are holiday girls working as escorts.
    south-24-parganas escorts
    uttar-dinajpur escorts
    mountabu escorts
    Kolkata Escorts

    ReplyDelete
  9. Prominently known because of their stunning appearance, ahmedabad escorts can without much of a stretch reason you to experience passionate feelings for
    sabarkantha escorts
    somnath escorts
    surendranagar escorts
    himatnagar escorts
    surat escorts

    ReplyDelete
  10. Contact religious institutions to discuss and mention various National Health Center Week activities in their bulletins so more people come to know about it. diabetes doctor reviews

    ReplyDelete
  11. Graduates of a nursing assistant program will have learned to work directly with patients under the direction of a registered nurse. Settings for learning include hospitals, nursing homes, clinics, and doctor's offices. online cna programs

    ReplyDelete
  12. Additionally, the CMS has also specified that the proposals to be submitted under this grant significantly concentrate on high cost/high-risk groups such as those communities with multiple chronic diseases and/or mental health or substance abuse issues, poor health status resulting from numerous socio-economic and environmental factors, multiple medical conditions, high cost individuals, or old age. juice for diabetic can drink

    ReplyDelete
  13. In most cases, inpatient or residential detox is recommended in order to help patients avoid relapse and make sure that they have medical care in the event of an emergency. In general, if the drug is short-acting, withdrawal symptoms will occur more immediately after the last dose. If it’s long-acting, withdrawal syndrome may be delayed a few days. Thus, doses must be increased in order to feel the desired results.

    https://www.offerplox.com/weight-loss/biogen-keto-gummies/

    https://www.facebook.com/cortexidrops/
    https://www.facebook.com/bestslimminggummies/
    https://www.offerplox.com/weight-loss/summer-keto-gummies-uk/
    https://www.offerplox.com/weight-loss/gold-coast-keto/
    https://www.offerplox.com/weight-loss/ketoxplode/
    https://www.offerplox.com/weight-loss/ketoxplode-avis/
    https://usanewsindependent.com/2023/07/mindy-kaling-keto-gummies-beware-update-2023-mindy-kaling-weight-loss-ozempic-reviews/
    https://usanewsindependent.com/2023/07/chiquis-rivera-keto-gummies-reviews-2023-legit-ketosis-gummies-or-another-scam-must-read-before-buy/
    https://usanewsindependent.com/2023/07/joy-reid-keto-gummies-reviews-update-fat-burning-joy-reid-weight-loss-gummies-scam-read-before-buy/

    ReplyDelete