It’s that time of year my cyber sister…. The holiest of
holy.
Yes, You know what I am talking about…. Boxing Day.
Some have Christmas or Yom Kippur or Ramadan or Oscar
Night…. I love the days between December 26th and January 7 which in
the ever reliable world of excess have become the BOXING WEEK.
I love that in the world of shopping, a weeks is really more
like 17 days.
Now let us be clear.
I never shop on Boxing Day itself. I’m a tough broad. Hell I can handle
a mountain climb and a good triathlon. I can battle a good shoe sale like any
other woman of distinction. But to shop in the stores on the 26th itself
is just asking for trouble.
Why just this year I got a jump-start on my oh holy night
festivities. Indeed my Boxing Day shopping is done and might I say that my
Comme de Garcons dress looks pretty fabulous…. Never mind its 80% off price
tag.
But should you venture out on this day of days or even in
the next few, please my girlfriends obey the rules of the road….
Rule number 1: Wardrobe.
Ladies, Yoga pants or some sort or leggings are a must. I am
talking about a base layer that can easily accommodate an entire outfit being
worn/tried on over it should the line to the fitting rooms be completely
unacceptable.
Should you wait for 2 1/2 hours to try on that Prada suit
now discounted at $225? I don’t think so my sister. Instead get your fabulous
ass to a quit corner in the store and put the whole suit on over your legging
and t-shirt.
Here, you use your imagination to adjust for what the fit
would feel like without the “base-layer” beneath.
Now- you’ve used your used your spacial relations and time
managed with the best of them.
Rule Number 2: Fluids
The key here is to bring a coffee that is big enough to
provide the needed energy and enjoyment for a day of shopping endurance but not
too big to have you draining your bladder periodically throughout the day.
A full bladder can be the difference between a pair of Christian
Louboutin Prive peep-toe pumps for 80% off or the need for a bathroom break.
Chose wisely my young Jedi- a happy bladder or jubilant
feet.
Hint- no one cares if you piss on the floor as long as the
shoes you are standing in have red soles.
Rule Number 3: Music
I love to shop with my I-pod. I listen to books on tape or a
great mix. I find the music or the story take me away and allow me to shift my
focus to the clothes at hand and not the greed in the store.
Rule number 4: Attitude is Everything.
Ladies, Boxing Week is not for the faint at heart. There is
no sisterhood. This is not the place to make lasting friendships or find a playgroup
for your Mommy and Me class. The store on Boxing Week is an endurance
challenge. Keep your head down, smile, be polite put really…. Expect service personnel
to treat you like shit and fellow shopper to be greedy and nasty.
Maybe you will be surprised. Maybe a lovely fellow retail
sista will let you have the cashmere she was eyeing that looks way better on
you. However as in medicine- hope for the best but expect the worst.
This way when someone shoves you down in a Holt Renfrew
accessories department you are not disappointed or even surprised- you are
merely able to get up, align your chakras and love on to buy the Lanvin crystal
safety pin that you have been having an affair with since you saw it walk down
the Fall runway in Paris.
I know it sounds brutal… but I love it. I love it all. I
love the physical emotional and retail thrill of a good Boxing week blow out. I
love the waiting that went on for my perfect dress all season only to find it
70% off and in my size waiting to come home with me like a puppy in a window.
I love it when I can suspend belief for just a few hours and
wonder what suit, what dress hell what handbag will be marked down so low that
they are practically paying me to buy the damn thing.
Turns out, there is science to back up my retail euphoria….
In a paper
published in 2007, researchers at the UK's Brunel University noted that
shopping is associated with increased activity in the left prefrontal cortex, a
part of the brain that has been linked to pleasure and positive thinking. In fact,
levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter released during pleasurable experiences
including sex, can rise sharply even when you're merely window shopping.
In another study,
published in the journal Neuron, researchers at MIT, Carnegie Mellon, and
Stanford strapped volunteers to an MRI machine and showed them photos of
products. When shoppers saw something they wanted to buy, a flood of dopamine
to the nucleus accumbens--the brain's reward center--lit up their MRI images
like a dashboard.
And it's not only
about pleasure. Shopping may also help women maintain their mental acuity in
old age, says Guy McKhann, M.D., a professor of neurology at Johns Hopkins
University and a co-author of Keep Your Brain Young. "People who are doing
really well as they get older tend to be mentally engaged, physically active,
and socially involved," he says. "And women are all of those things
when they shop."
Who new my shopping
would help me train for my mature years.
Studies show that
picturing several different outfits engages the brain and the prefrontal cortex,
which are all important activities as we age….
So the key to
eternal youth and happiness really can be found in my closet…
Forget the big
holidays and bring on the Boxing Week…. My health, my well being and hell, the
science of my longevity depend on it.
And who says you
can buy happiness. Well the
obviously haven’t found Manolos at half price…
Now get out there
ladies… and make me proud. As one fashion season closes and another opens never
forget the ultimate message my sisters… GOOD CLOTHES OPEN ALL DOORS…